Vulnerable, not seen as a good word when describing yourself to others as it exposes your weaknesses and can make the other in a controlling position over you. Why is this even a situation? Well we all like control of our own mind and body but not all are blessed to keep it to themselves. Now you must be thinking why this happens or exactly this is what’s been happening to you your entire life.
Well my friend if you think that this is happening to you so you are not alone. There are many out there those who are vulnerable and are unable to share it with anybody cause they are too scared that the person they are sharing this sensitive information with may use it against them. Quite possible. I hope with the help of this blog you guys feel free to share your vulnerability with other vulnerable people and can connect and relate to the situations in your real life cause trust me it helps to talk to the person with same interests and if the person is in the same situation then BINGO! You have found your mental match and you will see how sharing the similarities will help in understanding the situation and both of you can also find a way to get out of it.
Every human has a set of vulnerabilities and it can vary on a person to person. The most common which I come across is getting to deeply invested in the other person. Now if you are also a part of the same then you will really like it from here. But the rest I really wish you also find someone to share your thoughts with and can finally get over the situation.
In my case I am so deeply invested in someone that I currently have no control over the situation. I wakeup, eat sometimes, sleep constantly thinking about that person. OMG! Its exhausting for the brain my body, and my heart. Its not that I am not aware of what I am doing to myself its just that I am not able to channel a right path. You know whomever you talk to in this condition, friends, family, they will say you will get past it soon. But that doesn’t seem to be soon. For most of them its a age thing and they say focus on your career and you know this is where I start laughing in my own thoughts. This is because you plan things accordingly and when that plan fails which in my case has shook you from inside. The recovery is very hard. I am a kind of person who stays positive always and is filled with optimism but my friend this is where vulnerability kicks in. It stands in front of you fuck your optimism. I might sound dark right now but trust me the feeling is even darker.
I am blessed with the world’s best parents cause in India its quite hard to find parents those who actually support you in these kind of situations. But even they have a limitation to react to a situation and their generation gap will kick in at a point and they also at the end will say keep your focus set, focus on your goal and this is where you start to get annoyed. Cause people trying to tell you to focus on your career is the last thing which I want to hear at that point. They think that by saying this it will happen eventually. If it would have been this case I would have never been in this position. I would have been focusing on career only then. Everything would have been normal all bloomy and blissful but this is not something I am making up. Its happening inside me and I am having a hard time controlling it.
The people who says that I am not vulnerable to any emotion then sorry they are not human. We all have it. Its just that some cope with it well and some just take longer to get over things and I certainly fall in the second one. The problem is not one, after all this the insecurities come to haunt you, the spark inside you is no longer there. And I really dont think that I can ever change this vulnerability inside me cause your feeling is the only thing which makes you a human and separates you from the rest at the same time. So even in future I might get into this kind of situation but its okay cause you cant keep yourself locked, When you feel something you are supposed to tell that to the other person.
Being a social person you share the incident with many people you come across and everybody has a different set of opinion on the topic. Some say fuck it, move on some say you will find your way out soon, and some say that you will see that you will be betrayed. The most destroyed of them all are the ones who said move on and will be betrayed cause they in their lives have encountered the same situation and they speak their experience. But life is designed differently for everybody, Right?
Well all I can say for now is that I am hanging on to the situation cause I still feel that there is something left a ray of hope which an optimistic person which I used to be and is still there inside me tells me to stay positive. I have the big buy with me and right now praying is what is helping me stay positive in this tough times. My faith in god is the only thing which is helping me keeping me composed. The big guy said he is working on it in fixing the situation and certainly I have this thing that I feel that I am speaking to God in my head. It might sound psycho but that is what it is for me.
If this article helped you find some peace or a way to get out of this situation then a ray of hope is still there for me. The God is with everybody and staying positive in this situation is the key. Its hard but its not impossible cause nothing is. I own my vulnerability and I am proud of it.